We shared some of this piece with our newsletter subscribers a little earlier this month - if you’d like to receive hints and tips to help you manage worry and anxiety on the first Sunday of every month then you can subscribe to our newsletter here.
The year is drawing to a close, the nights (and mornings!) here in the UK are dark and cold, and there's a sparkle in the air as the festive season really kicks in, decorations appear in front windows and the pumpkin spiced lattes are swapped for mulled wine.
Indoors it can be a warm and welcoming time of year but it can also be a difficult one for many of us. It's not just the high expectations of creating the perfect season, the sudden influx of social events to prepare for, or the ramping up of comparisonitis as we see 'everyone else' posting about the daily antics of their Christmas elves and their perfect festive decorations. December can also be a time when our thoughts turn to the last year, the plans we made, the things we haven't done and the unexpected twists and turns of the past 12 months.
For many years I put far too much pressure on myself at Christmas to create the perfect scene - the perfect Christmas full of gingerbread houses made by rosy-cheeked children, handmade Christmas cards, the full works on Christmas day and a pile of presents under the Christmas tree.
By Boxing Day (if not 6pm on Christmas Day) I’d be exhausted, grumpy and usually full of cold. It never quite lived up to my expectations.
But it doesn’t have to be that way, we can have a lovely, sparkly, magical Christmas without so much stress and pressure, it’s all in our thinking and our expectations, and our ability to make sure we’re taking some time out for ourselves.
Taking a few moments to consider how you want to feel and approach this period can really help you to set your intentions in advance. So what does this time of year really mean to you? Grab a pen, and spend a few minutes writing down your thoughts on the questions below:
How would you like to feel during this festive season?
What’s at least one thing you can do that will help you to feel that way?
What’s at least one thing you used to do as a child that would make you feel that way?
Even just taking five minutes to set some intentions about Christmas and how you’d like to approach it can help you get into the right frame of mind. Write them down and put them somewhere that you’ll see them every day to remind you to take a breather and focus on how you feel.
Here’s a few more ideas that can help you gently maneuver Christmas from stressful and anxious to calm and relaxed.
Find one thing that helps you to feel calm and make sure you have it ready. It might be hiding in the bathroom for five minutes with some music, to lighting your favourite scented candle, to going for a walk outside. Know what helps you to feel less anxious and have that ready.
Dial down your expectations, you don’t have to do all the things and be all the things. Keep it simple and have perhaps three things that you’ll plan to do that will really make the season magical, whether that’s watching a Christmas film with your kids, going for a Boxing Day run or taking a trip out ice skating. Drop everything else, you don’t need to do it.
If festive anxiety for you is around family, boundaries and conflict, there’s some great advice out there that can help you with this. Try listening to this episode of the Marie Forleo podcast about how to disagree with your family but get along anyway.
Practicing gratitude is a proven technique for calming anxiety and increasing feelings of wellbeing. Take a moment at the end of each day to write down what you’re feeling grateful for either in a beautiful little journal, or on your WorryTree app if you subscribe to WorryTree Plus.
Make sure you have some time alone to recharge - and protect that time. Tell your family that you’ll be taking that time out and that it’ll help you to keep calm during the celebrations. It’s your time, it’s so important that you take some for yourself.
Whilst many of us look forward to Christmas whilst also finding it stressful, for some it’s a very cold and dark time of year. If you know someone who might be struggling this Christmas, reach out to them, that feeling of connection can make all the difference.
And if the festive season is a difficult time for you, know that you are not alone and that asking for help is a sign of strength not weakness. Contact someone you trust like a Doctor, friend or a relative, or don't forget in the UK you can text SHOUT to 85258 to start a conversation with someone who can support you.
With all of our best wishes this festive season,
Louise and the WorryTree Team x